Gollum’s easy baked fish and green “seaweed” chili

Gollum's oven-baked haddock with bacon

Gollum’s oven-baked haddock with bacon


This small, slimy hobbit lived on an island in the centre of an underground lake, in the story The Lord of the Rings. He was endowed with magic that extended his life well past the time when he should have left the building.

Gollum thought his staying power was due to a ring that he called My Precious. But I think  his regular meals of cave fish and seaweed was the most likely reason for his amazing, long life.

Gollum might have enjoyed a mess of bluefish, perhaps the most bloodthirsty fish in the tropical seas. A trail of dead and mangled mackerel, menhaden, and herrings is often seen in its wake. Bluefish is  so highly hunted that, like other popular fish, their stocks were at unhealthy levels in the late 1990s.

Sustainable seafood

Responsible hobbits like the Bagginses would look for sustainable fish species to grace their tables. A nice mild-tasting  haddock or the more expensive Pacific halibut might be their choice.

Gollum sometimes perked up his diet with a juicy goblin or two. In the recipe I’m sharing with you today from Gollum’s cookbook, he bakes a whole fish, cleaned, split and larded, I’m assuming with goblin… . We are using a nice fillet of haddock, instead, and some maple-smoked bacon.

I also concocted a lively “seaweed” dressing, made from a mountain of dill I had left over after the Christmas festivities. Gollum’s baked fish needs no dressing, but if you want a flavor boost, not to mention a whole slew of antioxidants from the dill and parsley, the “seaweed” chili is tasty if you have the time.

Baked haddock with "seaweed" chili (dill dressing)

Baked haddock with “seaweed” chili (dill dressing)

Easy baked fish for Gollum
Serves two

  • 8-10 ounces bluefish or haddock fillet
  • 2 slices bacon, each cut in half
  • Oil for greasing the tray
Gollum's oven-baked haddock with bacon

Raw haddock fillet, very fresh

  1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.
  2. Place the fillet on an oiled baking sheet, skin side down.
  3. Lay the strips of bacon across the fillet.
  4. Bake uncovered for 10 minutes per inch at the thickest point, then broil it an additional 5 minutes for a crispier bacon coat.
  5. Garnish the fish with the green seaweed chili (see recipe below) and run the dish under the broiler again, just until it’s hot. Serve immediately with lemon wedges (optional).
Gollum's oven-baked haddock with bacon& seaweed sauce (dill)

Run the baked fish under the broiler to brown the bacon, then to heat the seaweed chili.


  1. I actually liked the green chili better cold. Delicious! See what you think.
  2. My fillet was only an inch thick, so I baked it for 10 minutes, then broiled it for 5 minutes more. The fish was perfectly flaky. Next time, I might try baking this dish right from the start with only the green chili topping, because as we all know, bacon is not the healthiest of meats. Perhaps we can do without it, Gollum!
Gollum's green seaweed chili, AKA Dill dressing

Green seaweed chili with jalapeno, AKA Dill dressing for mild fish

Gollum’s favorite green seaweed chili

  • 1 large handful parsley
  • 1 large handful dill
  • half a small jalapeno, seeds discarded (optional)
  • 2 cloves garlic
  • 1 tablespoon prepared Dijon Mustard
  • 1 tablespoon Maple Syrup or stevia equivalent
  • 3 tablespoons Apple Cider Vinegar
  •  1/4 cup olive oil
  • 1/4 cup coconut cream or table cream
  • Sea salt and freshly ground pepper


  1. Use a food processor to mix all the ingredients. The dressing is too thick for most blenders (mine, anyway).
  2. What a great way to use up a lot of dill.Why do they always sell so much of it?
  3. Try adding a small handful of Nori if you have it. Then you can delete the quotes around “seaweed” in the recipe’s title.
  4. With just a half a jalapeno, the sauce is not hot at all, just pleasantly flavored. Add more if you like it hotter.
  5. With or without the sauce, this dish goes over well with many kids, because of its mild flavor… and bacon!
gollum fish

Gollum says: Eat fish responsibly (not like me…).

Check out my previous post for more about choosing healthful seafood responsibly.

Photo from You-tube.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. chef mimi
    Jan 22, 2016 @ 09:37:10

    This looks fabulous! I don’t think I’ve ever used bacon and fish together, unless maybe it was a kind of stew.


    • Vinny Grette
      Jan 22, 2016 @ 14:18:23

      Me neither, Mimi, and in fact I thought it was totally wrong. But I thought, hey, if Gollum likes it, I should give it a shot :). I made up the seaweed topping myself and was very happy with it. Dill is not nearly as bitter as parsley.


  2. Ginny
    Jan 20, 2016 @ 17:51:02

    I love this post! So witty and fun. I can’t wait to try out your green “seaweed” chili. Sounds delicious!


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